ho,ho,ho,,merry christmas! woohoo it's christmas so deck the halls with bells of holly. FALALALALALALALALA<3
haha i'm the only one awake, and it's been that way since 7am, lol.
i'm on my bill upstairs in the study, with my grandad next door in his room, my great-nan in the spare room, my brother in the conservatory downstairs and my dad and his girlfriend in the caravan outside. brrrrr much!
so yeah, i'm bored. think i might go and watch dear john. byebye :)
Saturday 25 December 2010
Thursday 23 December 2010
hey! long time no posting, i'm sorry. i was in the car all today coming from wales to kent,, there's like zero snow here compared to swansea! ;o but yeah, everything is good :) i'm on my new laptop from my grandad which was my xmas present. me and my brither (who also got one) were sat next to each other with our headphones in talking on msn via webcam too. i'm surprised we didn't strangle each other, lol :')
gaaaaaaaaaah! my dad gave me a entire circular reusable tub thingy of celebrations! (N) and my brother gave me all his strawberry creams cz he had a tin of roses. i mean i gave him my milky ways, and my dad the snickers but still that is ALOT of chocolate. combined with my step-mum's tin of hero's which she gave me some of. kill me now please? :) and i'll give you my chocolates? pffffffffffft. and i have a three course family meal tomorrow night. great. imma gain so much weight this xmas if i ate normally. ewwwwwww. alcohol makes you gain too! :( my dad got me WKD. shiteeeeeee.
gaaaaaaaaaah! my dad gave me a entire circular reusable tub thingy of celebrations! (N) and my brother gave me all his strawberry creams cz he had a tin of roses. i mean i gave him my milky ways, and my dad the snickers but still that is ALOT of chocolate. combined with my step-mum's tin of hero's which she gave me some of. kill me now please? :) and i'll give you my chocolates? pffffffffffft. and i have a three course family meal tomorrow night. great. imma gain so much weight this xmas if i ate normally. ewwwwwww. alcohol makes you gain too! :( my dad got me WKD. shiteeeeeee.
Monday 20 December 2010
karma's a bitch. deal with it bitch,, i have.
god i hate immature people who don't think before they speak. so insensitive! if every person who has in the past treated someone like shit in a really insensitive way was wiped from the earth, i think there'd only be about ten people left. people who deserve to be treated like royalty no matter what. god, i fucking hate those pricks who think they can get away with practically murder. it's horrible watching someone you love and care for wanting to die because of hateful words said to them at one point in their life, probably recently though. if I could I'd lock the bastard who said that shit in a grungy prison and throw away the key. that bastard doesn't deserve to live a great life at the expensue of other citezens of the world and their feelings. they are people,, just like you for christ sake!
god i hate immature people who don't think before they speak. so insensitive! if every person who has in the past treated someone like shit in a really insensitive way was wiped from the earth, i think there'd only be about ten people left. people who deserve to be treated like royalty no matter what. god, i fucking hate those pricks who think they can get away with practically murder. it's horrible watching someone you love and care for wanting to die because of hateful words said to them at one point in their life, probably recently though. if I could I'd lock the bastard who said that shit in a grungy prison and throw away the key. that bastard doesn't deserve to live a great life at the expensue of other citezens of the world and their feelings. they are people,, just like you for christ sake!
Saturday 18 December 2010
Friday 17 December 2010
haha I slept all afternoon, until tea time ;o
I had sausage and beans. but I didn't eat any beans, just my one veggie sausage, nomnom <3 yeah and that is it. along with about five glasses of marshmallow squash, which I found out was strawberry and vanilla flavour. damn I'm clever xD pffft I didn't even have any coffees today because of it, like woaaah! something must be up cz I never go a day without one and it's dead weird cz I made loads of hot drinks using the damn kettle for everyone else. at least no one can say I'm mean, lol :') I want coffee now! bye.
I had sausage and beans. but I didn't eat any beans, just my one veggie sausage, nomnom <3 yeah and that is it. along with about five glasses of marshmallow squash, which I found out was strawberry and vanilla flavour. damn I'm clever xD pffft I didn't even have any coffees today because of it, like woaaah! something must be up cz I never go a day without one and it's dead weird cz I made loads of hot drinks using the damn kettle for everyone else. at least no one can say I'm mean, lol :') I want coffee now! bye.
ahhhh just realised that yesterday's calories count was actually 425, as I messed up the coffee :L
oooooooh, guess what? WE HAVE SNOW, and lots of it! I woke up at seven this morning ready to go to school and give megan her birthday present but schools closed! man why couldn't that have been last week when we had lessons? geeez. so yeah.
went out in the snow with my brothers having a fight at eight in the morning when it's still partially dark rules! :') burned loads of calories running and then I did indoor aerobics and yoga babes xD all in all it's been great so far, and I've only had 87 calories in a slice of toast :'D gaaaah I love toast, I used to hate it mind but now I love it! woooo. good day. I'll post pictures later but now I wanna sleep,, au revoir.
oooooooh, guess what? WE HAVE SNOW, and lots of it! I woke up at seven this morning ready to go to school and give megan her birthday present but schools closed! man why couldn't that have been last week when we had lessons? geeez. so yeah.
went out in the snow with my brothers having a fight at eight in the morning when it's still partially dark rules! :') burned loads of calories running and then I did indoor aerobics and yoga babes xD all in all it's been great so far, and I've only had 87 calories in a slice of toast :'D gaaaah I love toast, I used to hate it mind but now I love it! woooo. good day. I'll post pictures later but now I wanna sleep,, au revoir.
Thursday 16 December 2010
wooooo my stepdad got me some marshmallow flavoured squash! nomnomnom it's only three calories per twohundredandfifty ml,,, lml <3
gahgahgah I've eaten loads today;
cup of shreddies with skimmed milk ~ 99 calories.
two digestive biscuits ~ 96 calories.
low fat macaroni cheese ready meal, kind of idk ~ 198 calories.
three chewing gums ~ 3 calories.
four coffees ~ 60 calories.
two glasses of marshmallow squash ~ 6 calories.
all in all it's a total of 462 calories ): ewwwww! hopefully the aerobics I've done has burned it off plus the natural metabolism shit. gah I don't know anything these days. well I'm contradicting myself here now but I do know tomorrow is the last day of school, well actually a half day tbh. yay xD
gahgahgah I've eaten loads today;
cup of shreddies with skimmed milk ~ 99 calories.
two digestive biscuits ~ 96 calories.
low fat macaroni cheese ready meal, kind of idk ~ 198 calories.
three chewing gums ~ 3 calories.
four coffees ~ 60 calories.
two glasses of marshmallow squash ~ 6 calories.
all in all it's a total of 462 calories ): ewwwww! hopefully the aerobics I've done has burned it off plus the natural metabolism shit. gah I don't know anything these days. well I'm contradicting myself here now but I do know tomorrow is the last day of school, well actually a half day tbh. yay xD
haha I just spent the last half an hour stood in a boiling and steaming hit shower, almost trying to make myself 'pure', lol I probably just ended up peeling a layer of skin off. god I'm so stupid! using the fucking boiling hot water isn't gonna burn calories,, I like to think the lunges did mind. euurgghhhhh. I'm so fat. I mean this is around my lowest weight in a while (apart from 90lbs) yet I look fatter than I did when I was 112! I can notice some difference between my legs and my chest area but my stomach is just ridiculously horrible. feels like everytime I look at it, that I'm the major supplier for Greggs! fml -.-
Wednesday 15 December 2010
1 advent calendar piece ~ 13 cals.
1 slice of jam on toast ~ 122 cals.
1 veggie sausage ~ 98 cals.
2 tablespoons of noodles ~ 58 cals.
4 cups of tea ~ 60 cals.
~ ~ 351 cals.
yay, all going well. not going into school as there are no lessons on xD
,,, but I binged majorly D: 1006 calories to be exact :'( I'm scared to weigh myself. I'm scared to go to Kent with my dad for Christmas cz I'll look huge. I'm scared to call it a binge cz I've gone so long without one... but technically I should be eating 250@ calories as I am 'growing'. so it's a daily total of 1357 calories. ah gawwwd. but minus the I actually can't remember the precise amount at this present time but roughly 1300 calories naturally and then the 800 ish I've burned aswell. omg. I need to burn more calories. bye.
1 slice of jam on toast ~ 122 cals.
1 veggie sausage ~ 98 cals.
2 tablespoons of noodles ~ 58 cals.
4 cups of tea ~ 60 cals.
~ ~ 351 cals.
yay, all going well. not going into school as there are no lessons on xD
,,, but I binged majorly D: 1006 calories to be exact :'( I'm scared to weigh myself. I'm scared to go to Kent with my dad for Christmas cz I'll look huge. I'm scared to call it a binge cz I've gone so long without one... but technically I should be eating 250@ calories as I am 'growing'. so it's a daily total of 1357 calories. ah gawwwd. but minus the I actually can't remember the precise amount at this present time but roughly 1300 calories naturally and then the 800 ish I've burned aswell. omg. I need to burn more calories. bye.
Tuesday 14 December 2010
d'you want the good, the bad, or the ugly? (;
the good news is ~ my mother let me stay off school cz all my friends are on an art trip and since I don't do art I'd be on my own.
the bad news is ~ I have to go into school for my councilling session in ten minutes! yippeee, LOL JK. and I have to do my geography assessment today :))))),,
the ugly news is ~ I look a right mess. I also have a water infection or cystisis or something idk :L
love my life babes! PAHAHA LOL JK. fml -.-
the good news is ~ my mother let me stay off school cz all my friends are on an art trip and since I don't do art I'd be on my own.
the bad news is ~ I have to go into school for my councilling session in ten minutes! yippeee, LOL JK. and I have to do my geography assessment today :))))),,
the ugly news is ~ I look a right mess. I also have a water infection or cystisis or something idk :L
love my life babes! PAHAHA LOL JK. fml -.-
Sunday 12 December 2010
sorry I've not blogged in a while I've been erm, busy. so yeah. busy eating. uuuuuugh I feel so fat. fggdkdiebdllsmspeyurrnepxm. my mum made me a like food plan for the week and it was:
breakfast - slice of butter on toast and coffee.
snack - cereal bar.
lunch - two slices of jam on toast and coffee.
snack - grapes and coffee.
dinner - four tablespoons of whatevers being made.
snack - two digestive biscuits and coffee.
FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML.
I've not even lost weight this week as well! fucksake. i mean I don't have the snacks, only one slice if toast at lunch and only like two tablespoons of dinner. and I had more coffees than I was allowed; rebel, lol. I really had to fight the urge not to purge, so I just did crunches. eww. anyway this week is the last week of school so I'm not going in on Tuesday cz i'd be on my own and not in on either Monday/Wednesday cz i have to baby-sit. I'm nit eating either. I'll just stay up really late so when I get home from school I can like sleep and not have to eat. ugh. I've wasted so many tears crying this week because of my mum. I really need to lose seven pounds in two weeks. I will lose seven pounds in two weeks. or else. actually let say eight so I'll lose four pounds a week. that's a nice even number. I'll be about seven stone at Christmas then. my goal. I'm gonna do it, or die trying.
breakfast - slice of butter on toast and coffee.
snack - cereal bar.
lunch - two slices of jam on toast and coffee.
snack - grapes and coffee.
dinner - four tablespoons of whatevers being made.
snack - two digestive biscuits and coffee.
FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML.
I've not even lost weight this week as well! fucksake. i mean I don't have the snacks, only one slice if toast at lunch and only like two tablespoons of dinner. and I had more coffees than I was allowed; rebel, lol. I really had to fight the urge not to purge, so I just did crunches. eww. anyway this week is the last week of school so I'm not going in on Tuesday cz i'd be on my own and not in on either Monday/Wednesday cz i have to baby-sit. I'm nit eating either. I'll just stay up really late so when I get home from school I can like sleep and not have to eat. ugh. I've wasted so many tears crying this week because of my mum. I really need to lose seven pounds in two weeks. I will lose seven pounds in two weeks. or else. actually let say eight so I'll lose four pounds a week. that's a nice even number. I'll be about seven stone at Christmas then. my goal. I'm gonna do it, or die trying.
Thursday 9 December 2010
Tuesday 7 December 2010
wooohoo, today's gone dead fast! I had welsh, (where I had test), double chemistry, english, and maths. usually it goes dead slow but I went home for lunch and hopefully will for the rest of the week to have a coffee and 'a slice of toast' lol. ahhh good mood, I'm drawing at the moment, and am gonna do a scrap book when I can be bothered. which will probably be never lol :)
right so today I've had 87 calories when I went home for lunch because I didn't realize my mother was there so had a slice of toast with a thin spread of jam, great lunch eh? I really wanted to purge it aswell like :/ so in 143 hours I've had 728 fucking calories. ughhh.
right so today I've had 87 calories when I went home for lunch because I didn't realize my mother was there so had a slice of toast with a thin spread of jam, great lunch eh? I really wanted to purge it aswell like :/ so in 143 hours I've had 728 fucking calories. ughhh.
Monday 6 December 2010
oh crap,,
crap. crap. crappity. crap
my mum thinks I've started my old and seriously bad eating 'problems' and has got me into see the school councillor and in turn go to these support groups, ugh wtf? I don't even want her help. she insulted me by saying 'yeah you gained about half a stone when we moved but now you've lost that weight and even more' fml, I gained like 3lbs. cheers for saying I'm fat mum, job well done!
my mum thinks I've started my old and seriously bad eating 'problems' and has got me into see the school councillor and in turn go to these support groups, ugh wtf? I don't even want her help. she insulted me by saying 'yeah you gained about half a stone when we moved but now you've lost that weight and even more' fml, I gained like 3lbs. cheers for saying I'm fat mum, job well done!
gahh, feel so ill! can't even breathe which means I can't sleep. fml. and I've thrown up. lml babeey, LOL jk! arghh and this weekend has been shit, we didn't even put up the christmas decorations. sucks -.- haha but I did watch the film love actually with my mum and stepdad thus evening after the xfactor. it was good while it lasted and now I've been in my room for the last hour practically dying. ughhh! I really want to sleep but I'm scared I'll like choke, but never mind eh? like anyone will care, so I wish I will die in my sleep. at least all this shitty stuff stressing me out would be finished if I was dead.
~ adieu ~
~ adieu ~
Sunday 5 December 2010
humph..
hummphhhh. today has dragged on so badly! i mean, i spent the whole afternoon on the laptop watching shit and watching harry potter. hmm. and i feel so ill. i've had like ten cups of coffee today, well less but i'm saying ten for some weird reason. and i ate :'( like 380 calories. fuck. so in 96 hours i've had 404 calories. fuck my fucking life. someone get me a gun? kthanxbii.
fucksake
fucksake, i fucking hate shit stirrers. ughhh! they must have suck boring lives to be doing this, or it must be their hobby. stupid little shits.
and i weighed myself. not pleased at all. what a failure. my scales are broke aswell. fml. apparantly i'm 7st7 which is 105lbs. that's a lb lost in a week. fuck. but i had like a gallon of water this morning to get rid of my hunger pains, and had on like a massive 'i love london' hoodie that comes down to my knees. woo. i'm gonna weigh myself before i go to bed, and probably about ten more times throughout the day, lol. but for now i'm content with just watching HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN, and updating my pt. corrr, i've not been on there in ages. must do something about that. get back into the zone like ;)
and i weighed myself. not pleased at all. what a failure. my scales are broke aswell. fml. apparantly i'm 7st7 which is 105lbs. that's a lb lost in a week. fuck. but i had like a gallon of water this morning to get rid of my hunger pains, and had on like a massive 'i love london' hoodie that comes down to my knees. woo. i'm gonna weigh myself before i go to bed, and probably about ten more times throughout the day, lol. but for now i'm content with just watching HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN, and updating my pt. corrr, i've not been on there in ages. must do something about that. get back into the zone like ;)
still only 224 calories. now it's 87 hours. i wanna make it 100 hours at least, which would be ten o'clock tonight.
i'm gonna need a good few distractions;
~ go for a long walk,
~ have a relaxing bath,
~ go on the wii,
~ go on my laptop,
~ watch the desperate housewives episodes i've missed,
~~ and worst of all;; weigh in for the week.
gahh, i like to do it as soon as i've woken up but the scales are in my mums room, and she's usually asleep at this time on a sunday. fml, i'm starting to panic now! D:
i'm gonna need a good few distractions;
~ go for a long walk,
~ have a relaxing bath,
~ go on the wii,
~ go on my laptop,
~ watch the desperate housewives episodes i've missed,
~~ and worst of all;; weigh in for the week.
gahh, i like to do it as soon as i've woken up but the scales are in my mums room, and she's usually asleep at this time on a sunday. fml, i'm starting to panic now! D:
Saturday 4 December 2010
fuck, i say fuck alot don't i?
fucksake. 224 fucking calories of stupid fucking food in 75 fucking hours. not fucking good enough. fuck my actual life. my life fucking sucks. i fucking wish i was dead. my stupid fucking family fucking hate me, and i fucking want to overdose on fucking pills. fucksake. fuck off you fucking idiots that i fucking call my family. fuck you.
'scuse my french.
'scuse my french.
much love to shanny for this piece of art (L)!
i asked for love
i asked for mercy
i asked for patience
but you’re already all of these things
i asked for love
i asked for mercy
i asked you for the sunshine
and then i begged you for the rain
if i knew what i needed
if i knew what was good for me i’d be down on my knees
begging please
let your light shine bright inside of me.
love it!
i asked for mercy
i asked for patience
but you’re already all of these things
i asked for love
i asked for mercy
i asked you for the sunshine
and then i begged you for the rain
if i knew what i needed
if i knew what was good for me i’d be down on my knees
begging please
let your light shine bright inside of me.
love it!
Friday 3 December 2010
love this shit :')
"Some things are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out, and a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors once they’re opened, can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never return."
"We're all fallen, but at the same time we're not broken. There is the hint that we are going to get up again."
"Nobody's perfect. I'm perfectly flawed."
"I know how it feels to be completely alone and helpless, and the last thing you want to hear in that situation is, 'It's going to be OK.' "The only thing that seems to really help is that someone else who has felt that low expressing those feelings to you."
"We see the world as an unending task of pain and hardship. Why is that? Why can people not simply just let go, and feel the laughter all around? In the darkest of places, there shall always be a single ray of hope, the matter is that it can be difficult to find. In the darkest of places, we shall find our salvation within ourselves, our reflections, our daily patterns. Comfort and warmth is something we need. Brittle bones are not something to abide to our humanity. Empty caverns are not something to aspire to. ...Why can we not see this? Beauty can be found in the most unlikely places, from the desolate Nevada deserts, to the aftermath of war." |
i love you (L)
i love you. i'm inspired by you. seriously, i know it's been hard but i'm dead glad you're recovering now. i mean i know you've tried recovery before, and failed/given up cz you thought you were too fat but i promise you i'm behind you all the way. you deserve this. i know it may sound hyppocritical coming from me as i'm not recovering, and think you should but i don't care.
i love you, and am glad you're acting healthy around food. i'm glad you're not purging, or at least trying not to. i'm glad you're getting support in your recovery. i'm glad you think you're worth it. and finally, i'm glad that you're determined. i wish i had the motivation, help and support you do, but i don't. i'm inspired by you.
i just hope that one day, hopefully soon you'll be able to look in the mirror and confidently, without lying behind a fake smile say that you're happy with the way you look. and that you're not fat. because babes, you're not fat now. those numbers on the scale don't rule your world, they shouldn't.
i'm glad that you seem happier, and more relaxed around certain things, having gained some confidence, no matter how small it is. i'm glad that you don't carry a toothbrush when you go out, that you've stopped cutting and purging. i really am.
i wish you the best of luck, have fun with your friends. to hell with this shit, be yourself, have fun, live your life like you want to. not by this shit. i love you shannice. forever. <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i love you, and am glad you're acting healthy around food. i'm glad you're not purging, or at least trying not to. i'm glad you're getting support in your recovery. i'm glad you think you're worth it. and finally, i'm glad that you're determined. i wish i had the motivation, help and support you do, but i don't. i'm inspired by you.
i just hope that one day, hopefully soon you'll be able to look in the mirror and confidently, without lying behind a fake smile say that you're happy with the way you look. and that you're not fat. because babes, you're not fat now. those numbers on the scale don't rule your world, they shouldn't.
i'm glad that you seem happier, and more relaxed around certain things, having gained some confidence, no matter how small it is. i'm glad that you don't carry a toothbrush when you go out, that you've stopped cutting and purging. i really am.
i wish you the best of luck, have fun with your friends. to hell with this shit, be yourself, have fun, live your life like you want to. not by this shit. i love you shannice. forever. <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
100.
yay, 100th post xD
yay, no more school for two days.
yay, tomorrows Saturday.
yay, not eaten in 45 hours.
yay, i have 10 more days at school (not including weekends) until it's the holidays.
yay, i have no homework.
yay, it snowed.
yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!
yay, no more school for two days.
yay, tomorrows Saturday.
yay, not eaten in 45 hours.
yay, i have 10 more days at school (not including weekends) until it's the holidays.
yay, i have no homework.
yay, it snowed.
yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!
dw i'n byw treforys.
fuck this shit. seriously what the fuck man?! jesus christ.
argghhh. i gotta go to school in a minute, and hannah ain't in so i'll be all on my own. sucks -.- ahaha i've been sleeping since seven last night cz i was so tired, fucking missed misfits i did. urgh! and i've got such bad stomach pains that are absolutely not related to my period seeing as though i don't have it anymore.
urgh, so today i have, english, chemistry, french, history, and physics. treforys is such a boring place to live! god help me so I don't die of boredom!
argghhh. i gotta go to school in a minute, and hannah ain't in so i'll be all on my own. sucks -.- ahaha i've been sleeping since seven last night cz i was so tired, fucking missed misfits i did. urgh! and i've got such bad stomach pains that are absolutely not related to my period seeing as though i don't have it anymore.
urgh, so today i have, english, chemistry, french, history, and physics. treforys is such a boring place to live! god help me so I don't die of boredom!
Thursday 2 December 2010
tears
i actually can't stop crying. it's so hard to stop when there's so many things I'm crying over;
~ i'm fat.
~ i miss my dad.
~ i feel sick.
~ i'm fat.
~ i miss england.
~ i'm being ignored.
~ i'm fat:
~ my friends in england have replaced me
~ i want to purge, but am trying not to.
~ i'm fat.
~ i have no money.
~ i'm friendless.
~ i'm fat.
~ i'm ugly.
~ i need to loose more weight.
~ i'm fat.
~ i have to eat pasta with veggie sausages for tea. fml.
~ i fail at everything.
~~ AND FINALLY ~~
~ i'm fat.
~ i'm fat.
~ i miss my dad.
~ i feel sick.
~ i'm fat.
~ i miss england.
~ i'm being ignored.
~ i'm fat:
~ my friends in england have replaced me
~ i want to purge, but am trying not to.
~ i'm fat.
~ i have no money.
~ i'm friendless.
~ i'm fat.
~ i'm ugly.
~ i need to loose more weight.
~ i'm fat.
~ i have to eat pasta with veggie sausages for tea. fml.
~ i fail at everything.
~~ AND FINALLY ~~
~ i'm fat.
Wednesday 1 December 2010
december?
pinch punch it's the first of the month, no return. haha yay december. shit, that means advent calenders. fucksake, i've two aswell. ohwell, i'll just conveniently forget to eat them or give them to my brother; i hate wasting food.
oeighdjso\ejhitn;f. bad mood. i want snow, so i can stay at home in my warm, comfy bed! but no, snow has not yet had a chance to grace the areas of morriston comprehensive school. fucking sucks -.- i mean seriously, my old school has been closed all this week and i've been at school doing my english exam - (yeyeye i actually think it went well bitchez!). so yeah. life sucks. and i have a maths test tomorrow. fml. i mean, i actually excell at maths, but i find it too boring cz it's too fucking easy. one less bad test mark to worry about eh? i'll just read harry potter fanfictions instead, cz no offence to maths but i've got better things to do with my time then sit and revise for a test that i know the answers for. fuck that shit.
yawn, i'm so tired. i should really go to bed i'm that tired! ;o but i reeeeeally wanna watch the apprentice later; cz it's amazing. you should watch it :') hmm i've changed my mind, i might nap instead of reading fanfictions, then watch the apprentice, then catch up on the last 4 vampire diaries episodes i've missed, then exercise if i have any energy left, and finally sleep. though tbh, i'll probably fall asleep watching vampire diaries. gah, i can never make my fucking mind up these days. it's too fucked up to function properly, lol.
hmm, this is a rather long post isn't it? ;) i know there's one more thing that i wanted to post about, but i really can't remember! it's actually really pissing me off now mind D; bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh. oh yeah;; christmas. okay so like i'm spending christmas with my dad in kent (which is in england) from the 24th-29th and i'm getting loads and i mean loads of presents from him. and my grandad is buying both my brother and me a new laptop, i'm getting money and itunes/clothes vouchers from my aunts and uncles, and i'm getting perfume from my dad when he goes on a romantic trip to rome with his girlfriend just before he picks us up. good haul this yeah actually, but like my mothers getting all worked up about it cz she absolutely cannot afford owt for us this year, i just asked for a nice candle set with smellies so hopefully i'll get that, but my shitty little welsh bratty selfish step-brother wants about £100 of shit. haha LOL at him, cz he's not getting any of it. probably only about £10-20 each from my mother. ohwell, christmas isn't always about the presents. it's about giving, and the spirit of just lounging in front of the telly all day watching shrek, and the soaps, and best of all;; the doctor who special :'D.
gah, there's gonna be a helluva lot of food mind, i gotta go to a three course meal christmas eve with the whole 'taylor' clan. should be fun. naaaaaat. i'm supposedly eating;
.. starter ~ french onion soup.
.. main course ~ roast turkey meal with all the trimmings.
.. dessert ~ creme brulee.
okay, so the soup's alritee, the main i'm eating the veg but not the meat, and dessert i'll try and get out of by hiding it. idk D: shit. must plan that. gah, and the sweets, biscuits, crackers, tins of chocolates, crisps etc on christmas day everyone will be stufing their faces with. fuck! i really need control by christmas. or else, i'll just be a bigger and fatter fail than i am now, which obviously isn't hard to achieve but, urgh i hate regrets. fucksake, why did this have ti be so hard? ):
oeighdjso\ejhitn;f. bad mood. i want snow, so i can stay at home in my warm, comfy bed! but no, snow has not yet had a chance to grace the areas of morriston comprehensive school. fucking sucks -.- i mean seriously, my old school has been closed all this week and i've been at school doing my english exam - (yeyeye i actually think it went well bitchez!). so yeah. life sucks. and i have a maths test tomorrow. fml. i mean, i actually excell at maths, but i find it too boring cz it's too fucking easy. one less bad test mark to worry about eh? i'll just read harry potter fanfictions instead, cz no offence to maths but i've got better things to do with my time then sit and revise for a test that i know the answers for. fuck that shit.
yawn, i'm so tired. i should really go to bed i'm that tired! ;o but i reeeeeally wanna watch the apprentice later; cz it's amazing. you should watch it :') hmm i've changed my mind, i might nap instead of reading fanfictions, then watch the apprentice, then catch up on the last 4 vampire diaries episodes i've missed, then exercise if i have any energy left, and finally sleep. though tbh, i'll probably fall asleep watching vampire diaries. gah, i can never make my fucking mind up these days. it's too fucked up to function properly, lol.
hmm, this is a rather long post isn't it? ;) i know there's one more thing that i wanted to post about, but i really can't remember! it's actually really pissing me off now mind D; bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh,bleugh. oh yeah;; christmas. okay so like i'm spending christmas with my dad in kent (which is in england) from the 24th-29th and i'm getting loads and i mean loads of presents from him. and my grandad is buying both my brother and me a new laptop, i'm getting money and itunes/clothes vouchers from my aunts and uncles, and i'm getting perfume from my dad when he goes on a romantic trip to rome with his girlfriend just before he picks us up. good haul this yeah actually, but like my mothers getting all worked up about it cz she absolutely cannot afford owt for us this year, i just asked for a nice candle set with smellies so hopefully i'll get that, but my shitty little welsh bratty selfish step-brother wants about £100 of shit. haha LOL at him, cz he's not getting any of it. probably only about £10-20 each from my mother. ohwell, christmas isn't always about the presents. it's about giving, and the spirit of just lounging in front of the telly all day watching shrek, and the soaps, and best of all;; the doctor who special :'D.
gah, there's gonna be a helluva lot of food mind, i gotta go to a three course meal christmas eve with the whole 'taylor' clan. should be fun. naaaaaat. i'm supposedly eating;
.. starter ~ french onion soup.
.. main course ~ roast turkey meal with all the trimmings.
.. dessert ~ creme brulee.
okay, so the soup's alritee, the main i'm eating the veg but not the meat, and dessert i'll try and get out of by hiding it. idk D: shit. must plan that. gah, and the sweets, biscuits, crackers, tins of chocolates, crisps etc on christmas day everyone will be stufing their faces with. fuck! i really need control by christmas. or else, i'll just be a bigger and fatter fail than i am now, which obviously isn't hard to achieve but, urgh i hate regrets. fucksake, why did this have ti be so hard? ):
Tuesday 30 November 2010
ksvha#p9sHBWNw
cadburys flake dipped. 280 calories. that's a no-no. straight to the "binge-box" that's for sure!
carrots (17), veggie fingers (98), cheesy potato stuff (84) = 199 calories. yeye, not all the potato. burn it off. crunches. sleep five hours later. on left side. try not to throw up. sounds like a plan. see ya later man. another exam tomorrow. see ya.
29th november 2010
i fucking hate mondays. shittiest day of the week. shit lessons at school today too; double geography. fml. but holly&lauren the double act cheered me right up xD haha, so holly put on my glasses and put her hair in two ponytails, then i was like holly you look like a peng ned. she had no idea what i meant. so i translated to you look like a fit nerd. she actually LOL'ed st my vocabulary. ahwell, thats welsh people for you. they just sound like the bunch off gavin&stacey. chav alert! ;)
yeah, and i ate. i ate bad D: it was 2 veggie fingers, some diet chip thingies and sweetcorn. fat pig! -.- ahwell, misfits always cheers me up, pmsl i was :') anyway, i've got an english exam tomorrow, providing the school's not closed cz of the snow. but seriously school's got more chance of closing for the snow as i've got a chance of getting skinny.
~ ~ adieu ~ ~
yeah, and i ate. i ate bad D: it was 2 veggie fingers, some diet chip thingies and sweetcorn. fat pig! -.- ahwell, misfits always cheers me up, pmsl i was :') anyway, i've got an english exam tomorrow, providing the school's not closed cz of the snow. but seriously school's got more chance of closing for the snow as i've got a chance of getting skinny.
~ ~ adieu ~ ~
Sunday 28 November 2010
if you really want to know.
okay, well i got asked exactly what was in my "binge box" by someone anonymous. here goes,,
okay:
1 double decker chocolate bar,
1 galaxy mistletoe bar,
1 cadbury's chocolate mini roll,
1 vienese mint chocolate bar,
1 slimming world chocolate hifi bar,
1 packet of cheese dorito's,
1 packet of onion ring crisps,
2 mars bars,
2 pain au chocolats,
3 packets of cadbury's chocolate buttons,
3 bags of butterkist popcorn,
3 bags of orange shortbreads,
3 twix chocolate bars,
3 bags of tesco crisps (2 cheese and onion, 1 prawn cocktail),
5 penguin wafer bars,
5 club chocolate bas (3 orange, 2 mint),
7 fruit breakfats bars (idk),
9 packets of go-ahead bars.
that is it, i hope it helped to clear up any issues you had. bye :')
wooooo
yay. i've finally updated this shit :D and guess what? 106 fucking lbs today. get in. lost a lb since yesterday. the scale says 7st10, but the thing is my scale is wrong and always says anyoe is 2lbs heavier then they actually are. sucks. anyway, i'm buzzing so much i'm singing along to jay z. what a beast, phwoaaar xD "life's a game and it's not fair, i break the rules so i don't care, so i keep doing my own thing, walking tall against the rain, victory's within the mile, almost there don;t give up now, only thing that's on my mind, is who's gonna run this town toniteeee." i worship that song. i actually GET the lrics. victory being within the mile and all that shit. oh yes.
25th november 2010
hmm, ceebs to write owt today. i had 200 calories exactly today mind D: erm, well i went to school and had to do a science exam i missed yesterday. piece of cake it was. haha ironic that :L hmm, and i have two english exams next week. best go and prepare for them like, i suck at descriptive writing and something to do with writing a narrative or something? idk :\ ohwell. ta-raaaaaaaa.
25th november 2010
yay i'm at home again today, it's meant to snow soon mind so i'm glad :D i had to beg though, and i'm not allowed to spend the whole day in bed. fml. being ill sucks ):
anyway, i didn't eat yesterday, and not yet today either, and it's 2 o'clock and i've been up since half past five. bit by bit i'm welcoming control back into my life. and that's good.
did i mention i gained last week? yeah i did. two fucking pounds anyway, i'm like 108lbs now. fluctuating much! that's gona stop soon though :D i've not even binged in forever. can't even remember the last time i binged, and all the shitty foods people give me is going in my "binge box". i hide it, and i haven't even eaten any of the shit that's in there. well fucking done babes xD wanna see inside? ;)
god, people must think i'm really really weird now. oh well. fuck them. i don't care anymore. i'm carefree.
anyway, i didn't eat yesterday, and not yet today either, and it's 2 o'clock and i've been up since half past five. bit by bit i'm welcoming control back into my life. and that's good.
did i mention i gained last week? yeah i did. two fucking pounds anyway, i'm like 108lbs now. fluctuating much! that's gona stop soon though :D i've not even binged in forever. can't even remember the last time i binged, and all the shitty foods people give me is going in my "binge box". i hide it, and i haven't even eaten any of the shit that's in there. well fucking done babes xD wanna see inside? ;)
24th november 2010
what did i tell you eh? haha i'm at home ill right now. with flu. fucking hate the winter sometimes. ugh. not eating today. i don't deserve it. atm, i'm just sat in my bed wearing an ankle length zebra patterned fleece nightie over my 3 other layers of clothes, reading harry potter fanfictions on fanfiction. LOL. what a weirdo you must think i am. ahwell, i admit it. i'm a weirdo okay? deal with it! :L
oww! i just moved and it hurt. i ache, i can't breathe, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, i'v thrown up twice, and to top it all off, i've now got a migraine coming on. gaaaaaa i need more sleep. even though it's 11am. nighty nitee (:
oww! i just moved and it hurt. i ache, i can't breathe, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, i'v thrown up twice, and to top it all off, i've now got a migraine coming on. gaaaaaa i need more sleep. even though it's 11am. nighty nitee (:
23rd november 2010
followed the plan today. now i feel like shit, i had another science exam today; that's probably why. my brain needs a rest. i think i might stay at home being ill tomorrow. ceebs with school. ceebs with life. ceebs with my stupid little stepbrother. the git.
22nd november 2010
good mood! i got 20 out of 25 in a history test the stupid headteacher sprung on us before my science exam. yay for me. at least people won't think i'm stupid. only fat. yeah, best do someting about that. eat nothing all day. exercise. eat dinnner. consume no more than 300 all day max. hide food. exercise some more. watch i'm a celebrity get me out of here. not bother to do homework. then sleep,,, sounds like a plan to me. goodbye fatty mcfat.
21st november 2010
hey. shit day. went swimming. consumed calories. not good. bought a top from new look. too fat for it. cba to do my french homework. depressed. miss my dad. annoyed at my brother. mum's crying doing my head in. going to watch i'm a celebrity get me out of here. bye.
20th november 2010
yay, good day today mateey! i went mountain biking, and guess how far i managed to do? 12 fucking miles bitchezz xD and i'm actually really proud of myself cz i haven't been on my bike since june :L and i've had some tomato pasta when we went bowling, and a bag of maltesers before we cycled. fuck. i know its unhealthy but it was either that or my dad made me eat meat. ewwwww! ewwwww! ewwwww! fml. guess it's good that i burned it off? ahwell. god, did i just say ahwell? where the fuck has my fucking control gone?! fuck this shit you fat bitch!
19th november 2010
shitting hell. well tonight couldn't get any worse could it? i met my dads girlfriend, she's really lovely actually. bless her, she doesn't know what she's getting herself into by getting involved with my dad, whihc means getting involved with me and my "issues". gah i'm so depressed. i stuck to the plan but i couldn't purge in the mcdonalds toilets cz they were out of order? that's just retarded! and i can't even purge at home cz of my mother.
guess what she told me earlier? yeah she's pregnant. i'm dead happy for her, cz i mean i already sussed it out; morning sickness, lack of tampons, mood swings, always tired and ill etc. like when she was pregnant with joe 4 years ago. i was dead excited. but that excitement didn't last long,, she had a silent miscarriage. shit. she's so upset and i don't even know what to do ): she's going to hospital sunday to have the operation to remove the baby /: baby charlie <3 R.I.P
guess what she told me earlier? yeah she's pregnant. i'm dead happy for her, cz i mean i already sussed it out; morning sickness, lack of tampons, mood swings, always tired and ill etc. like when she was pregnant with joe 4 years ago. i was dead excited. but that excitement didn't last long,, she had a silent miscarriage. shit. she's so upset and i don't even know what to do ): she's going to hospital sunday to have the operation to remove the baby /: baby charlie <3 R.I.P
19th november 2010
yayayayayayay i'm seeing my daddy soon :')! gah i'm so excited, my brother said i was so excited he thought i was a kid stuck in disneyland overnight? wtf? anyway, here i am just sat watching desperate housewives and doing crunches. seriously, the one thing i'm not excited is having to have a mcdonalds everytime he comes up. i'll stick to a fish finger happy meal; i'll hide the fish fingers and most of the chips and just glug on ma buxtons ;D hopefully. i'll purge it anyway. gah, i hate purging, but i can't have that shit contaminating my whale of a body. i've got enough issues with it anyway.
urgh, gotta go and have a chat with my mother now. she looks like she's been crying ): brb sexeehhhh <3
urgh, gotta go and have a chat with my mother now. she looks like she's been crying ): brb sexeehhhh <3
18th november 2010
hey,ho,hey,ho. sorry i haven't written in a while; i've been busy with school stuff, and like napping for england :L. ladeedah how much of a ned do i sound like? haha anyway, i haven't eaten in 37 hours, preparing for this weekend like. my dad's coming to see me, and for the first time i'm meeting his girlfriend - debbie. she seems nice enough on facebook, and i have to LOL at the fact she calls me chicken, how cute. i guess that's what you get off people from the north of england.
Monday 15 November 2010
bitch.
ugh, so fucking disgusting today. I mean you're not exactly gonna lose any weight by eating like 300 calories a day are you? seriously Chloe get a grip and listen or you will never get there you worthless piece of shit. listen and you will be rewarded and not let down. Jesus Christ it's your best friend we're talking about here, trust is a key issue needed. duh! you're so stupid.
fat bitch. worthless bitch. stupid bitch. boring bitch. ugly bitch. uncontrollable bitch. lying bitch. and now a dying bitch. (';
fat bitch. worthless bitch. stupid bitch. boring bitch. ugly bitch. uncontrollable bitch. lying bitch. and now a dying bitch. (';
Saturday 13 November 2010
i forgot there were two eight o clocks in the day D:
ugh, i woke up at eight o fucking clock this morning to go and watch my brother play football. and guess what? it's only gone and been cancelled! stupid twats leaving it too late. haha that reminds me, misfits series two started on thursday and it's actually the most hilarious programme, arguing about big twats and small cocks. PMSL :') go watch it bitchezz (;
12th november 2010
ugh. i deserve a fucking medal for not fainting today. seriously, i had to sit my science b1b gcse exam thingy and i just couldn't concentrate. gah, i was doing the higher tier section but i just know i fucked it up so i went back and did the foundation too. i think i failed it. damn, and i'll need it for my future job as well :\
i cut last night, and tonight. i recarved FAT onto my hip, and a sad smiley on my leg. it was such a release. i deserved the pain, cz i had just under 500 calories when i really shouldn't have. the stupid exam. i fucking went and ate 200 fucking calories at lunch before the exam didn't i? what a failure of a day. fuck me skinny.
i cut last night, and tonight. i recarved FAT onto my hip, and a sad smiley on my leg. it was such a release. i deserved the pain, cz i had just under 500 calories when i really shouldn't have. the stupid exam. i fucking went and ate 200 fucking calories at lunch before the exam didn't i? what a failure of a day. fuck me skinny.
Thursday 11 November 2010
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
anyway, i ate tea today; some beans and a fried egg. please kill me? even though i had the exact same portion as my three year old brother i still feel fat! why can't i eat, even something small without feeling guilty and feeling like i'm gonna be sick. i wish i purged then everything would be so much easier. so shut the fuck up you stupid voice.
-
- without some goal and some effort ro reach it, no-one lives.
- we spend most of our lives conjugating three verbs; to want, to have and to do.
- you desire to know the art of living? it is contained in one phrase; to make use of suffering.
- there is no short-cut to achievement, life requires preparation.
- exercise is an extraordinary gift, and the supremest pleasure in life.
- to be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.
- lifes' challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
- life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.
- what would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
- the capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. it provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.
- we spend most of our lives conjugating three verbs; to want, to have and to do.
- you desire to know the art of living? it is contained in one phrase; to make use of suffering.
- there is no short-cut to achievement, life requires preparation.
- exercise is an extraordinary gift, and the supremest pleasure in life.
- to be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.
- lifes' challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
- life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.
- what would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
- the capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. it provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.
wednesday 10th november 2010
ugh. i ate chips last night. i went to watch fireworks at st.helens rugby club in swansea. damnnn. on the plus side i was stood up in the freezing cold for about 2 hours? ah well.
i didn't eat today. good too. and i'm in a bad mood. i'm just sat here revising for my biology gcse exam on friday and it's taking all my willpower to not just cwtch up in bed and watch harry potter. OHMYGOD HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PREMIER IS ON TOMORROW NIGHT. eeeeeeeeek!
i didn't eat today. good too. and i'm in a bad mood. i'm just sat here revising for my biology gcse exam on friday and it's taking all my willpower to not just cwtch up in bed and watch harry potter. OHMYGOD HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PREMIER IS ON TOMORROW NIGHT. eeeeeeeeek!
Tuesday 9 November 2010
pink
argh i just found this picture on my camera and was about to put it on facebook. how ghastly of me! :O
Monday 8 November 2010
fun fun fun
i've been doing crunches and aerobics. i'm buzzing now. it's like getting high off exercise xD my mother and sterpdad took the piss out of me earlier,, saying my brother could beat me in a fight. haha yeah right. get your facts straight you gay-asses. anyway, i'm having fun fun fun barricading myself in my room, with the tv on full volume, blasting alan carr's celebrity ding dong. jaja.
pneumonia!
my fingernails are like a purple blue colour and my hands are dead cold :\
i've not eaten yet today. i don't want to. i've had two cups of coffee, a diet coke and two bottles of water throughout the day. i think i might go and get an apple herbal tea thingy, and that's like 3 calories. yeah, i'll do that. i don't want to get pneumonia in my hands.
i've not eaten yet today. i don't want to. i've had two cups of coffee, a diet coke and two bottles of water throughout the day. i think i might go and get an apple herbal tea thingy, and that's like 3 calories. yeah, i'll do that. i don't want to get pneumonia in my hands.
'scuse me love, your brains are addled.
8th november 2010idk what mood i'm in tbh. it's 00.25 and harry potter and the chamber of secrets film has just finished. i have school later today as well. i'm not gonna be able to keep my eyes open :| oh well. anyway, this girl asked me for a "thinspo" picture of me for her and i said i cba to take one and she got dead offended so i sent her one from when i was about 5lbs heavier and the way she commented on it, i thought she'd wanna frame it :L her brains must be really addled. it made me think, might start weighing myself every day now, just to see how much weight i lose in a day, rather than a week. bye :)
fail
7th november 2010
major fail. 280 fucking calories. fml. kill me now. no food for the rest of the week. i don't fucking deserve it.
YAY YAY YAY. i've actually lost weight this past week. i'm now 107lbs which is a loss of 6lbs which i know could've been better but it's my best loss in a long time. god i'm really happy. i want to be 100lbs by next sunday (14th november).
major fail. 280 fucking calories. fml. kill me now. no food for the rest of the week. i don't fucking deserve it.
YAY YAY YAY. i've actually lost weight this past week. i'm now 107lbs which is a loss of 6lbs which i know could've been better but it's my best loss in a long time. god i'm really happy. i want to be 100lbs by next sunday (14th november).
freak like me
6th november 2010
hmm. today sucked. i ate about 150 calories of an omlette. my mother took me into town and bought it for me, saying she was getitng worried about me not eating enough that week. excuse me? what does it matter to you? like you care? argh! anyway, we walked around town having a girly day out so i burned it off but still :\ i bet i've gained a few pounds more than if i'd have not eaten. ugh i hate regrets. my mother even told me she used to be bulimic. wow, i totally didn't expect that. seriously, what the fuck. i don't even know if i should believe her or not. it would seem bad if i didn't. ah well. i managed to take food upstairs fooling her into believing i was eating dinner and binned it, along with a double decker chocolate bar. what the hell is wrong with me? :L i'm gonna go and doo 500 crunches while listening to my harry potter soundtrack. god i love harry potter. OMG NOVEMBER 19TH HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1 IS OUT IN CINEMAS. go and see it bitchezz ;)
hmm. today sucked. i ate about 150 calories of an omlette. my mother took me into town and bought it for me, saying she was getitng worried about me not eating enough that week. excuse me? what does it matter to you? like you care? argh! anyway, we walked around town having a girly day out so i burned it off but still :\ i bet i've gained a few pounds more than if i'd have not eaten. ugh i hate regrets. my mother even told me she used to be bulimic. wow, i totally didn't expect that. seriously, what the fuck. i don't even know if i should believe her or not. it would seem bad if i didn't. ah well. i managed to take food upstairs fooling her into believing i was eating dinner and binned it, along with a double decker chocolate bar. what the hell is wrong with me? :L i'm gonna go and doo 500 crunches while listening to my harry potter soundtrack. god i love harry potter. OMG NOVEMBER 19TH HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1 IS OUT IN CINEMAS. go and see it bitchezz ;)
:\
5th november 2010
hey. i'm in a good mood today, we had fireworks in our garden cz the big firework display at st helens was cancelled cz of the rain. roll on tuesday. it was pretty. it reminded me of prettythin, then the fact i'd not eaten all week. i'm dead proud of myself tbh. it's a warm and fuzzt feeling inside. LOL :')
haha okay, so i was looking at some of the pictures i'd uploaded on my old prettythin account and the comments i'd gotten and couldn't believe them :\
i was about 116lbs here and people commented on the picture saying i needn't lose anymore weight as i was already perfect. ASIFF. NICE TRY. BYEBYE.
hey. i'm in a good mood today, we had fireworks in our garden cz the big firework display at st helens was cancelled cz of the rain. roll on tuesday. it was pretty. it reminded me of prettythin, then the fact i'd not eaten all week. i'm dead proud of myself tbh. it's a warm and fuzzt feeling inside. LOL :')
haha okay, so i was looking at some of the pictures i'd uploaded on my old prettythin account and the comments i'd gotten and couldn't believe them :\
memory lane
4th november 2010
major lol at me just sat on the windowsill looking at old photos. kind of like a walk down memory lane. gaah i want to go walking, it'll burn calories.
god. i can remember this. it was the start of the easter holidays and me and my brother were pissing around with my camera. i'm quite pleased with myself cz i lost 14lbs in two weeks. yeyeye. but it wasn't enough :\
major lol at me just sat on the windowsill looking at old photos. kind of like a walk down memory lane. gaah i want to go walking, it'll burn calories.
Sunday 7 November 2010
desperate.
4th november 2010
ah i ache so badly. i mean i only went to school today after i made a deal with my mother. she said i could stay off but i couldn't have a bath and i really wanted a nice long soak to ease my muscles. the bitch. so i endured tedious lessons just for a bath. god i'm desperate. my brother also went into my room and saw several conversations with shannice. so i had to like fake argue with her to get him off my case,, i felt so badly cz she's amazing, and i think i upset her :\ and now i'm trying really hard not to go downstairs and eat the chocolate that i got from going on my business studies trip to the michton chocolate factory yesterday. gaaaah. when will this ever end? ):
ah i ache so badly. i mean i only went to school today after i made a deal with my mother. she said i could stay off but i couldn't have a bath and i really wanted a nice long soak to ease my muscles. the bitch. so i endured tedious lessons just for a bath. god i'm desperate. my brother also went into my room and saw several conversations with shannice. so i had to like fake argue with her to get him off my case,, i felt so badly cz she's amazing, and i think i upset her :\ and now i'm trying really hard not to go downstairs and eat the chocolate that i got from going on my business studies trip to the michton chocolate factory yesterday. gaaaah. when will this ever end? ):
hello control, long time no see (:
3rd november 2010
i didn't eat today either. i think me getting a new prettythin account has helped me greatly, i've gained so much willpower and control in the last few days it's ridiculous ;o. i've just done 500 crunches while watching a vampire diaries episode i missed a few weeks ago. god i've missed so many tv episodes. i'l just catch up during meal times (:
i didn't eat today either. i think me getting a new prettythin account has helped me greatly, i've gained so much willpower and control in the last few days it's ridiculous ;o. i've just done 500 crunches while watching a vampire diaries episode i missed a few weeks ago. god i've missed so many tv episodes. i'l just catch up during meal times (:
stepbrothers are shitheads
2nd november 2010
i've consumed 136 calories and it's all because my stepbrother had to come over at a certain time, the shithead. and guess what it was? soup! i purged it though :\ and i'm not gonna count it as eating seeing as though i drank it out a cup LOL. it did kinda wreck my mood but i was unusually happy anyway cz guess what?! I GOT MY TEST MARKS BACK AND GOT A's AND A*'s. GET IN CHLOE :'D. i got 84% in maths which is the highest in my class so my teacher is moving me up to the top set. i got 48/52 in my history which is an A*. i got 23/25 in my geography which is A/A* cz the test was in two sections. then i've been getting mostly A's but some A*'s in science past gcse papers. yay. my dad's giving me £10 aswell. and i didn't even revise for any of my tests being too busy, but mostly lazy (:
i've consumed 136 calories and it's all because my stepbrother had to come over at a certain time, the shithead. and guess what it was? soup! i purged it though :\ and i'm not gonna count it as eating seeing as though i drank it out a cup LOL. it did kinda wreck my mood but i was unusually happy anyway cz guess what?! I GOT MY TEST MARKS BACK AND GOT A's AND A*'s. GET IN CHLOE :'D. i got 84% in maths which is the highest in my class so my teacher is moving me up to the top set. i got 48/52 in my history which is an A*. i got 23/25 in my geography which is A/A* cz the test was in two sections. then i've been getting mostly A's but some A*'s in science past gcse papers. yay. my dad's giving me £10 aswell. and i didn't even revise for any of my tests being too busy, but mostly lazy (:
time flies
1st november 2010
pinch punch it's the first of the month (; pahaha that never gets old xD first day back at school and seriously there's nothing like a lesson of french to wake you up in the morning when you're feeling tired. je m'appelle chloe <3 anyway,, i haven't eaten yet, just drunk loads of water and juice. i don't want to eat for two weeks. iwant will be under 7stone (98lbs) by christmas. i have to be, otherwise i just won't enjoy the whole christmas spirit.
pinch punch it's the first of the month (; pahaha that never gets old xD first day back at school and seriously there's nothing like a lesson of french to wake you up in the morning when you're feeling tired. je m'appelle chloe <3 anyway,, i haven't eaten yet, just drunk loads of water and juice. i don't want to eat for two weeks. i
muah hahaha
31st october 2010
happy fucking halloween my lovelies. shit time for people with eating disorders. i took my brother trick or treating, didn't get any sweets yet i dressed up. how stupid can you get? i still wanted to keep with the theme but i just made the excuse that i had toothache. which is partly true. haha LOL i actually ripped up my old school uniform. love it!
This picture however was talken tonight. i weighed exactly 113 lbs. weird how it's exactly 20lbs lighter. >>>
happy fucking halloween my lovelies. shit time for people with eating disorders. i took my brother trick or treating, didn't get any sweets yet i dressed up. how stupid can you get? i still wanted to keep with the theme but i just made the excuse that i had toothache. which is partly true. haha LOL i actually ripped up my old school uniform. love it!
<<< I actually hate this picture. it was on my birthday 9 february 2010 and i weighed roughly 9stone7 (133lbs).
This picture however was talken tonight. i weighed exactly 113 lbs. weird how it's exactly 20lbs lighter. >>>
i really want some sweets right now D:
bleurghbleurgh
30th october 2010
bleurgh. i ate chips for dinner. me and mother are having a girly night in watching the xfactor. i'm sat drooling over one direction while feeling guilty after eating choco buttons. god. where did my control go? :\ i'm gonna post a picture of cher llyod on here at some point. she's a right beaut. and dead skinny! i wish i was her!
bleurgh. i ate chips for dinner. me and mother are having a girly night in watching the xfactor. i'm sat drooling over one direction while feeling guilty after eating choco buttons. god. where did my control go? :\ i'm gonna post a picture of cher llyod on here at some point. she's a right beaut. and dead skinny! i wish i was her!
blah
29th october 2010
i'm bored out of my fucking skull right now. i'm just sat here revising for my biology gcse exam that's in two weeks. i'm dreading it. i'm so nervous that i ate. crap crap crappy crap. at least it's under 500 yeah? not good enough chloe. okay so i'm gonna go on my bike for abitt now to burn it off. bye :')
i'm bored out of my fucking skull right now. i'm just sat here revising for my biology gcse exam that's in two weeks. i'm dreading it. i'm so nervous that i ate. crap crap crappy crap. at least it's under 500 yeah? not good enough chloe. okay so i'm gonna go on my bike for abitt now to burn it off. bye :')
bye bye summer time
28th october 2010fuck sake, my feet are blue. i'm guessing summer has now ended then. i can't even remember the last time it was relatively warm. oh well, at least it's burning calories. the clocks go back on saturday night. winter will deffo kick in then. fuck, this is depressing. hmm,, on the plus side i've not eaten in two days. i feel shit for it so i might make a low calorie smoothie tomorrow. obviously i'll burn it off. i've made a rule that i'm not to consume any extra calories then are absolutely neccesary. or empty calories for that matter. i will succeed.
,,
27th october 2010
lazy ass
26th october 2010
i'm so lazy, i mean i didn't even get out of my bed today until gone 11am :L longest lie in i've had in ages. it was probably brought on from the fact that i was puking my guts out yesterday. i didn't even lose any weight man. that's just harsh -.-
i'm so lazy, i mean i didn't even get out of my bed today until gone 11am :L longest lie in i've had in ages. it was probably brought on from the fact that i was puking my guts out yesterday. i didn't even lose any weight man. that's just harsh -.-
jfxgbiwdpotg#BR
24th october 2010
nah nah nah nah nah. i won at bowling today. but i lost with my food intake. 458 calories ): someone mail me a gun in the post?
nah nah nah nah nah. i won at bowling today. but i lost with my food intake. 458 calories ): someone mail me a gun in the post?
caerdydd
23rd october 2010
good day today in cardiff with the dad and brother i think (: had a bag of quavers and a bag of fruit flakes. gives me a total of 202 calories. goodo. and my dad bought me two pairs of tracksuit trousers, a furry hoodie jacket thing, a hat, and some bow clips for my hair. i really wanted to get a bag but i didn't see the one i wanted. damn.
good day today in cardiff with the dad and brother i think (: had a bag of quavers and a bag of fruit flakes. gives me a total of 202 calories. goodo. and my dad bought me two pairs of tracksuit trousers, a furry hoodie jacket thing, a hat, and some bow clips for my hair. i really wanted to get a bag but i didn't see the one i wanted. damn.
yippee
22nd october 2010
yay. no more school for a week, get in! lalala i went to mcdonalds with my dad and brothers and had a latte. that brings my daily food intake to 5 coffees, a diet coke and a latte xD i really wish i could have a lie in tomorrow but i have to get up at half eight. what a great way to start the holidays -.-
yay. no more school for a week, get in! lalala i went to mcdonalds with my dad and brothers and had a latte. that brings my daily food intake to 5 coffees, a diet coke and a latte xD i really wish i could have a lie in tomorrow but i have to get up at half eight. what a great way to start the holidays -.-
ECSTACY BABEY.
21st october 2010
i've not eaten today. and i went for a run too. good day me thinks, exept for the fact i had a maths test :'D yessss! it's finally the last day of term tomorrow, i'm dead excited. bring on the holidays mateeey. and my dad's coming up for the weekend. nothings gonna spoil my good mood today and tomorrow, not even the stupid history test i've got last lesson tomorrow. HAHA I'M ECSTATIC.
i've not eaten today. and i went for a run too. good day me thinks, exept for the fact i had a maths test :'D yessss! it's finally the last day of term tomorrow, i'm dead excited. bring on the holidays mateeey. and my dad's coming up for the weekend. nothings gonna spoil my good mood today and tomorrow, not even the stupid history test i've got last lesson tomorrow. HAHA I'M ECSTATIC.
epicly epic xD
19th october 2010
i've had 291 calories so far today. shit i know but i have burned alot off dancing? yeah it's no excuse. anyway, i've been reading a harry potter fanfiction story on fanfiction to keep my mind off food and have been staying up until like 2am on several nights to read it :L it's fucking amazing! it's called 'it all started with a visit to gringotts' and it's written by jadedragon36 on http://www.fanfiction.com/ . you should seriously read it. i'll warn you now that it is about 60 chapters and if you go to bed at a normal time it'll probably take you like a week to read. i love it!
i've had 291 calories so far today. shit i know but i have burned alot off dancing? yeah it's no excuse. anyway, i've been reading a harry potter fanfiction story on fanfiction to keep my mind off food and have been staying up until like 2am on several nights to read it :L it's fucking amazing! it's called 'it all started with a visit to gringotts' and it's written by jadedragon36 on http://www.fanfiction.com/ . you should seriously read it. i'll warn you now that it is about 60 chapters and if you go to bed at a normal time it'll probably take you like a week to read. i love it!
revision
17th october 2010
d'you want the good news or the bad news first? hmm, lets go with good. ooops i lied there is no good news. the bad news is that yesterday i consumed exactly 500 calories, and i'm still trying to do no more than 500. god that was so close. now, for the bad news..
shitting hell my brother blinded himself yesterday. the stupid idiot squeezed shower gel in his eyes and had to go to hospital. now he refuses to open his eyes. and he kept me awake all night by waking up crying every half hour. now i can't even revise for my geography test tomorrow and it'll be all his fault when i fail. god i hate three year olds.
d'you want the good news or the bad news first? hmm, lets go with good. ooops i lied there is no good news. the bad news is that yesterday i consumed exactly 500 calories, and i'm still trying to do no more than 500. god that was so close. now, for the bad news..
shitting hell my brother blinded himself yesterday. the stupid idiot squeezed shower gel in his eyes and had to go to hospital. now he refuses to open his eyes. and he kept me awake all night by waking up crying every half hour. now i can't even revise for my geography test tomorrow and it'll be all his fault when i fail. god i hate three year olds.
oops
15th october 2010
i didn't eat monday. i didn't eat tuesday. i didn't eat wednesday. i didn't eat thursday. but guess what? i did eat on friday. stupid. i feel fat now. it was only 113 calories of fruit flakes but i feel fat. i shouldn't have done it. god i'm such a fucking whale of a pig. haha there should so be a new species of a whale pig that scientists have like cross-bred. but that would just be perverted. pmsl.
i didn't eat monday. i didn't eat tuesday. i didn't eat wednesday. i didn't eat thursday. but guess what? i did eat on friday. stupid. i feel fat now. it was only 113 calories of fruit flakes but i feel fat. i shouldn't have done it. god i'm such a fucking whale of a pig. haha there should so be a new species of a whale pig that scientists have like cross-bred. but that would just be perverted. pmsl.
c'est la vie.
13th october 2010
i've not eaten again today. good. but i can do it longer. i wil do it longer. i strive for perfection, and this is how i'm gonna get it. or die trying. they're the only options i have. that's life - c'est la vie.
i've not eaten again today. good. but i can do it longer. i wil do it longer. i strive for perfection, and this is how i'm gonna get it. or die trying. they're the only options i have. that's life - c'est la vie.
cheesy.
12th october 2010
oooh eeeh ooh ooh ahh,, ting tang walla walla bing bang,, oooh eeeh ooh ahh ahh,, ting tang walla walla bing baaaaang. LOL at me just sat here listening to cheesy 90's tunes to be cheerful. kinda working. hmm, i've consumed 0 calories since my tea on sunday. it's staying that way. i think i'm gonna do yoga now. bye :')
oooh eeeh ooh ooh ahh,, ting tang walla walla bing bang,, oooh eeeh ooh ahh ahh,, ting tang walla walla bing baaaaang. LOL at me just sat here listening to cheesy 90's tunes to be cheerful. kinda working. hmm, i've consumed 0 calories since my tea on sunday. it's staying that way. i think i'm gonna do yoga now. bye :')
my own fault.
11th october 2010
i'm shattered. i didn't sleep until 5am. two fucking hours of sleep and i'm dragged out of bed for school. so unfair! anyway, i decided not to leave the house until sean left which made me late. but ohwell, it was only french. i mitched off english while being on the phone to my dad telling him everything, who them told my mum >.< hopefully she'll dump the bastard but that's not likely. i think i might sleep now, even though it's like 4pm. then i won't have to go downstairs. and i don't have to eat. night
i'm shattered. i didn't sleep until 5am. two fucking hours of sleep and i'm dragged out of bed for school. so unfair! anyway, i decided not to leave the house until sean left which made me late. but ohwell, it was only french. i mitched off english while being on the phone to my dad telling him everything, who them told my mum >.< hopefully she'll dump the bastard but that's not likely. i think i might sleep now, even though it's like 4pm. then i won't have to go downstairs. and i don't have to eat. night
SERIOUS FML MOMENT.
10th october 2010
i want to die, i wish i was 6 fucking feet under the fucking ground. in case you're wondering, i've just had a huge argument with my stepdad, and it was apparantly that bad he had to go for a walk for an hour, in the pitch black at 9pm? :L anyway, we'd just finished watching the xfactor and cz diana vickers is performing next week on it he started to play her songs through the laptop. now, i think she's ok, but my mum hates her with a burning passion like nothing you've seen. anyway, she goes out the room and my sean's just like "what an idiot" so i have a go at him saying it's his own fault blahfuckingblah and he has a go at me etc. i mean i have no problem with this cz i'm just calling hima fat twat, like ya do then he aims a blow so low i would'nt even think it was possible. he goes "yeah, coming from the idiot who annoys everyone by just being around, and you can't even say you don't like me mate when you don;t even like yourself. it's your own fault you're like that". now, i wanted to punch him but i carried on having a go and that until i was on the verge of tears. i ran upstairs and cried into my pillow and was so depressed i was considering an overdose. i don't know if he's back yet but it's like half ten now so probably. i never want to speak to him again.
i want to die, i wish i was 6 fucking feet under the fucking ground. in case you're wondering, i've just had a huge argument with my stepdad, and it was apparantly that bad he had to go for a walk for an hour, in the pitch black at 9pm? :L anyway, we'd just finished watching the xfactor and cz diana vickers is performing next week on it he started to play her songs through the laptop. now, i think she's ok, but my mum hates her with a burning passion like nothing you've seen. anyway, she goes out the room and my sean's just like "what an idiot" so i have a go at him saying it's his own fault blahfuckingblah and he has a go at me etc. i mean i have no problem with this cz i'm just calling hima fat twat, like ya do then he aims a blow so low i would'nt even think it was possible. he goes "yeah, coming from the idiot who annoys everyone by just being around, and you can't even say you don't like me mate when you don;t even like yourself. it's your own fault you're like that". now, i wanted to punch him but i carried on having a go and that until i was on the verge of tears. i ran upstairs and cried into my pillow and was so depressed i was considering an overdose. i don't know if he's back yet but it's like half ten now so probably. i never want to speak to him again.
LML.
rebel.
8th october 2010
pahaha i'm such a rebel man. i got an hour long detention after school detention. it was for forgetting to hand my science book in. what a pathetic excuse to keep someone after school on a fucking friday. seriously wtf? the teacher even sent a letter home, and i almost died of laughter when my mum nearly fainted after reading it. :L eurgh and i nearly binged too, like i had history last and i was just sat there talking to the legend that is hannah brown and my stomach rumbled, luckily no-one heard but i ate a cookie on the way to detention cz i had no drinks to shut my stomach up. fml. i'm not eating anymore today. i don't deserve to.
pahaha i'm such a rebel man. i got an hour long detention after school detention. it was for forgetting to hand my science book in. what a pathetic excuse to keep someone after school on a fucking friday. seriously wtf? the teacher even sent a letter home, and i almost died of laughter when my mum nearly fainted after reading it. :L eurgh and i nearly binged too, like i had history last and i was just sat there talking to the legend that is hannah brown and my stomach rumbled, luckily no-one heard but i ate a cookie on the way to detention cz i had no drinks to shut my stomach up. fml. i'm not eating anymore today. i don't deserve to.
that is just weird
7th october 2010
i'm in such a good mood right now, bahdahdahdahdah i'm luvin' it ;) LOL. no, seriously i am cz yesterday i did my english thing and i got 14/20 which is a gcse B. yayayayay. i'm so happy. i know i could've got a higher mark if i knew what i was doing in the first place but oh well, even my mothers dead chuffed about it. and to top it all off, i've lost a lb. FUCK YES, THIS DAY HAS TURNED OUT TO BE FUCKING AMAZING.
i'm in such a good mood right now, bahdahdahdahdah i'm luvin' it ;) LOL. no, seriously i am cz yesterday i did my english thing and i got 14/20 which is a gcse B. yayayayay. i'm so happy. i know i could've got a higher mark if i knew what i was doing in the first place but oh well, even my mothers dead chuffed about it. and to top it all off, i've lost a lb. FUCK YES, THIS DAY HAS TURNED OUT TO BE FUCKING AMAZING.
it's a fucking joke!
5th october 2010
hey, sorry i've not posted in a few days. i've not really had much to say. i'm a very boring person :L i'm actually sat here right now planning my english narrative story that apparantly counts for 15% of the grade or something idk, all i do know is that i'm gonna fail cz my brain won't turn on! it's really hard ):
i think i might just wing it in the lesson and get an F, yeah i'll do that. i cba to plan anymore. i'm gonna catch up on my business studies work i missed when i was off school. i like business studies, it's dead easy and i'm getting full marks and stuff. this is the easiest subject ever and you get two gcse's out of it. this subject was made for people like me.
hey, sorry i've not posted in a few days. i've not really had much to say. i'm a very boring person :L i'm actually sat here right now planning my english narrative story that apparantly counts for 15% of the grade or something idk, all i do know is that i'm gonna fail cz my brain won't turn on! it's really hard ):
i think i might just wing it in the lesson and get an F, yeah i'll do that. i cba to plan anymore. i'm gonna catch up on my business studies work i missed when i was off school. i like business studies, it's dead easy and i'm getting full marks and stuff. this is the easiest subject ever and you get two gcse's out of it. this subject was made for people like me.
pinch punch it's the first of the month ;D
1st october 2010
yay it's friday :D doesn't feel like it tbh cz i've only been in school three days this week :L i'm bored as well, and hungry. i actually wish i had homework. i'm insane. ahwell, i'm gonna go and listen to my harry potter audiobooks. corrrr, i fucking love stephen fry (;
au revoir <3
yay it's friday :D doesn't feel like it tbh cz i've only been in school three days this week :L i'm bored as well, and hungry. i actually wish i had homework. i'm insane. ahwell, i'm gonna go and listen to my harry potter audiobooks. corrrr, i fucking love stephen fry (;
au revoir <3
skiver? :L
28th september 2010
ohmygod i hate my mother. she's accusing me of skiving off school when it's hardly true! well, i didn't want to go to school but i still tried which resulted in me throwing up. yum. naaaaat! i'm actually bored out of my fucking mind though. i really wish i was in school right now. i think i must've bumped my head :L
ohmygod i hate my mother. she's accusing me of skiving off school when it's hardly true! well, i didn't want to go to school but i still tried which resulted in me throwing up. yum. naaaaat! i'm actually bored out of my fucking mind though. i really wish i was in school right now. i think i must've bumped my head :L
ill again
27th september 2010
i'm off school ill today. i feel shit. i'm not eating anything either. it's a good excuse mind :} i'm just sat in bed watching harry potter,, as you do ;D
i'm off school ill today. i feel shit. i'm not eating anything either. it's a good excuse mind :} i'm just sat in bed watching harry potter,, as you do ;D
i'm a winner xD
september 26th 2010
ah man today was the last day with my dad :( i felt ill all day as well. we went bowling and i lost the first game, but won by a mile on the second game. it was awesome. i did however eat some onion rings ): that was the only bad thing about today tbh. other than that i'm in a good mood. yeyeye.
ah man today was the last day with my dad :( i felt ill all day as well. we went bowling and i lost the first game, but won by a mile on the second game. it was awesome. i did however eat some onion rings ): that was the only bad thing about today tbh. other than that i'm in a good mood. yeyeye.
shopping (:
25th september 2010
today i went to cardiff with my dad and older younger brother. i have to say it was really good. i watched my brother play football first which i'm really into, and i must've burned about 300 calories stood there watching xD then we went to cardiff and my dad bought me a leather jacket thingy, some tan coloured uggs, some socks with the days of the week on them, a knitted woolen scarf and he gave me his hoodie <3 it's a mickey mouse one that is suprisingly really comfy :D
i'm proud of my calorie intake too, i had a vanilla latte from costa coffee and a packet of quavers during the whole day i was out, then a diet coke at home. i'm impressed. i'm also tired from walking really far. my bed is calling my name (: bye.
today i went to cardiff with my dad and older younger brother. i have to say it was really good. i watched my brother play football first which i'm really into, and i must've burned about 300 calories stood there watching xD then we went to cardiff and my dad bought me a leather jacket thingy, some tan coloured uggs, some socks with the days of the week on them, a knitted woolen scarf and he gave me his hoodie <3 it's a mickey mouse one that is suprisingly really comfy :D
i'm proud of my calorie intake too, i had a vanilla latte from costa coffee and a packet of quavers during the whole day i was out, then a diet coke at home. i'm impressed. i'm also tired from walking really far. my bed is calling my name (: bye.
arghh
24th september 2010
i ate :( i had a medium portion of fries = 220 calories. kill me now? i can't believe i ate them!
i don't deserve to go to cardiff tomorrow with my dad. failures should be made to do punishments, not get rewarded.
i ate :( i had a medium portion of fries = 220 calories. kill me now? i can't believe i ate them!
i don't deserve to go to cardiff tomorrow with my dad. failures should be made to do punishments, not get rewarded.
ill ):
24th september 2010
omg, i hate this. i'm fucking ill with tiredness, migraines and some kind of gastric bug. i'm going to have a shit weekend now. i mean my dad's coming to visit me and my brothers for the weekend and my mum says i can't go tonight unless i get out of bed at least 3 hours before he gets here. that's just inhumane. how will i manage that? it could be a good thing if i don't go cz he takes us to mcdonalds. ahwell. i'll go but i won't have anything. yes, i think i'll do that. afterall he can't make me eat any of that shit cz i'm a vegetarian. nuh-uh.
omg, i hate this. i'm fucking ill with tiredness, migraines and some kind of gastric bug. i'm going to have a shit weekend now. i mean my dad's coming to visit me and my brothers for the weekend and my mum says i can't go tonight unless i get out of bed at least 3 hours before he gets here. that's just inhumane. how will i manage that? it could be a good thing if i don't go cz he takes us to mcdonalds. ahwell. i'll go but i won't have anything. yes, i think i'll do that. afterall he can't make me eat any of that shit cz i'm a vegetarian. nuh-uh.
fml
22nd september 2010
fml, it's 4.56am and i've not been able to get to sleep. and i have school tomorrow. this is great,,, just great.
fml, it's 4.56am and i've not been able to get to sleep. and i have school tomorrow. this is great,,, just great.
brumbrum ;D
19th september 2010
well, today i finally went out to watch my stepdads mum fly a plane. it was quite boring tbh. while she was flying over mumbles and that we just went in a cafe and ate. of course i only had a diet coke but it was enough to have suspiscions arise. FUCK. ahwell i'd packed crisps in my bag so just showed them that and they were happy :)anyway. we went to a like dead peaceful garden place where i sat in a tree. i felt like a bird LOL. i jumped out of it and ended up almost breaking my arm, and if it wasn't for my brother would probably be in A&E right now. ooh i definately owe him <3
well, today i finally went out to watch my stepdads mum fly a plane. it was quite boring tbh. while she was flying over mumbles and that we just went in a cafe and ate. of course i only had a diet coke but it was enough to have suspiscions arise. FUCK. ahwell i'd packed crisps in my bag so just showed them that and they were happy :)ohh yeaah
17th september 2010
pahaa i love my new school so much better than my old one :) i'm getting less homework than i did in year 7 and it's gcse year. weird. LOL.
i still eat lunch at school, well if you count a low calories biscuit. nomnom. i want to be able to just have a diet coke, and also start to save up my dinner money. if i didn''t spend it all week i'd have £10. yes, i think i might do that :)
pahaa i love my new school so much better than my old one :) i'm getting less homework than i did in year 7 and it's gcse year. weird. LOL.
i still eat lunch at school, well if you count a low calories biscuit. nomnom. i want to be able to just have a diet coke, and also start to save up my dinner money. if i didn''t spend it all week i'd have £10. yes, i think i might do that :)
LOL XDDD
15th september 2010
hey. i've been depressed lately. this 500 calories for a month thing hasn't helped me lose any weight. it sucks -.- but i was looking through my fat photos from earlier in the year and i found a particular photo that makes me PMSL every single time i see it. i thought i would share it with you, in the hope that it could possibly cheer you up :')
hey. i've been depressed lately. this 500 calories for a month thing hasn't helped me lose any weight. it sucks -.- but i was looking through my fat photos from earlier in the year and i found a particular photo that makes me PMSL every single time i see it. i thought i would share it with you, in the hope that it could possibly cheer you up :')
sorry about the bad quality pixels or whatever. blame my stepdad. MAJOR LOL AT MY BROTHER XDDD
errmm
12th september 2010
haha well today i've not fasted, but i have done under 500 calories (: i think i did quite well seeing as though i went out for the day. while being out i just ate mostly veggies but i did have a slice of bread with a dairylea triangle that was about 100 calories :\
i cycled over two miles though. i'm dead proud of myself but i ache everywhere. i'm going for a bath now. bye :)
haha well today i've not fasted, but i have done under 500 calories (: i think i did quite well seeing as though i went out for the day. while being out i just ate mostly veggies but i did have a slice of bread with a dairylea triangle that was about 100 calories :\
i cycled over two miles though. i'm dead proud of myself but i ache everywhere. i'm going for a bath now. bye :)
GAAAAAAAAH. TAKING PICTURES OF ME SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! PEOPLE PUTTING PICTURES OF ME ON FACEBOOK SHOULD GET ARRESTED.
R.I.P
11 september 2010
it's 9/11 today. i watched a documentary on channel 4 earlier about the twin towers suicide attack. it was horrific. i mean seriously, where was God on 9/11? that's the question.
i was actually meant to go and watch my stepdads mother fly a plane today (ironic isn't it?) but the rain cancelled it. oh well, i just stayed inside doing nothing. and i ate, nothing over 500 calories so that's okay but i still feel sick :\
it's 9/11 today. i watched a documentary on channel 4 earlier about the twin towers suicide attack. it was horrific. i mean seriously, where was God on 9/11? that's the question.
i was actually meant to go and watch my stepdads mother fly a plane today (ironic isn't it?) but the rain cancelled it. oh well, i just stayed inside doing nothing. and i ate, nothing over 500 calories so that's okay but i still feel sick :\
lalala
10th september 2010
yay it's friday :D i'm glad, even the rain can't dampen my mood. i've decided i will ease myself into fasting at school and see how it goes. idk D; everythings just so different to my old school. it's weird. the worst thing is the stomach grumblings.
yay it's friday :D i'm glad, even the rain can't dampen my mood. i've decided i will ease myself into fasting at school and see how it goes. idk D; everythings just so different to my old school. it's weird. the worst thing is the stomach grumblings.
haha even my best friend meg has noticed i don't eat alot and i've only been at that school 4 weeks. i should really work on changing that.
sorry
8th september 2010
i'm sorry about my last post, it didn't really make sense. well i know i didn't reach my goal weight cz i didn't have any motivation but that was no excuse. me and shanny are trying a 500 calorie a day "plan" with no binges. we're trying to eat exactly the same so if one of us binges the other one has to have the same amount of calories. i don't know how that bit will work tbh. oh well. i can do this. i will get to october without binging.
i'm sorry about my last post, it didn't really make sense. well i know i didn't reach my goal weight cz i didn't have any motivation but that was no excuse. me and shanny are trying a 500 calorie a day "plan" with no binges. we're trying to eat exactly the same so if one of us binges the other one has to have the same amount of calories. i don't know how that bit will work tbh. oh well. i can do this. i will get to october without binging.
what's normal?
7th september 2010
someone help me. i think i've forgotten what normal is. i can't remember a time before this. things have changed like i now eat about 200 calories at school and a 300 calorie dinner rather than before in england when i only ate a 200 calorie meal. i wish i could go back to not having to count every fucking calorie i put in my body, and then feel guilty afterwards. well, i guess you can't have everything i guess.
someone help me. i think i've forgotten what normal is. i can't remember a time before this. things have changed like i now eat about 200 calories at school and a 300 calorie dinner rather than before in england when i only ate a 200 calorie meal. i wish i could go back to not having to count every fucking calorie i put in my body, and then feel guilty afterwards. well, i guess you can't have everything i guess.
not too bad.
3rd september 2010
school wasn't so bad today tbh. i mean i got there on time having woken up at 7am. gosh i don't think i can remember the last time i woke up that early :L anyway, my timetable this year seems good seeing as though i dropped alot of subjects for gcse that in my opinion were worthless. lets see, yeah i'm taking; history, business studies, geography, french and double science. i like history, it's interesting. god i sound like such a ned! and now the compulsory subjects; pshe, pe, re, english, maths, core science and welsh. i really don't see the point in welsh but neither do most of the students in my year. LOL. the only thing i'm gutted about is that they've cut pe lessons down to one hour a week instead of two. it sucks, and me chosing to do basketball for a term also sucks. get in chloe! D;
school wasn't so bad today tbh. i mean i got there on time having woken up at 7am. gosh i don't think i can remember the last time i woke up that early :L anyway, my timetable this year seems good seeing as though i dropped alot of subjects for gcse that in my opinion were worthless. lets see, yeah i'm taking; history, business studies, geography, french and double science. i like history, it's interesting. god i sound like such a ned! and now the compulsory subjects; pshe, pe, re, english, maths, core science and welsh. i really don't see the point in welsh but neither do most of the students in my year. LOL. the only thing i'm gutted about is that they've cut pe lessons down to one hour a week instead of two. it sucks, and me chosing to do basketball for a term also sucks. get in chloe! D;
i'm screwed
2nd september 2010
gaah, school tomorrow. i really don't know how i'm going to do it. i mean i've got into the routine of staying up until 3 in the morning and getting up at like 1 in the afternoon -.- i've been going to bed at like 9pm all this week to get into the pattern of sleeping but i think i may have insomnia ): or it could possibly be that i drink coffee about 10 minutes before i go to bed. either way i'm screwed. i'll die of sleep deprivation.
gaah, school tomorrow. i really don't know how i'm going to do it. i mean i've got into the routine of staying up until 3 in the morning and getting up at like 1 in the afternoon -.- i've been going to bed at like 9pm all this week to get into the pattern of sleeping but i think i may have insomnia ): or it could possibly be that i drink coffee about 10 minutes before i go to bed. either way i'm screwed. i'll die of sleep deprivation.
Saturday 6 November 2010
LOSER
1st september 2010
i can't believe it's september. time has certainly flown. i happened to be on twitter earlier looking at tweets of the day or whatever and i thought i's share this with you as it made me PMSL :') "it's september 1st. if you're reading this tweet then you're not a wizard going to hogwarts. sucks for you." that reminds me, i've got school in two days. it's a fucking joke going back to school on a friday when everyone else goes back on monday 6th. ahwell, never mind eh? i like to think it'll make me more academically ahead. god only knows i need it (;
i can't believe it's september. time has certainly flown. i happened to be on twitter earlier looking at tweets of the day or whatever and i thought i's share this with you as it made me PMSL :') "it's september 1st. if you're reading this tweet then you're not a wizard going to hogwarts. sucks for you." that reminds me, i've got school in two days. it's a fucking joke going back to school on a friday when everyone else goes back on monday 6th. ahwell, never mind eh? i like to think it'll make me more academically ahead. god only knows i need it (;
yeyeye :D
31st august 2010haha i'm in a good mood today. idk if the chemicals in my brain have been released after doing yoga on the wii fit? :L
it's probably more to do with the conversations i've been having on msn xD shannice is such a babe and can cheer me up anytime. she's amazing and bless her heart such a good person who least of all people deserves an eating disorder. she's always there for me, and even though we can sometimes be in a bad mood with each other we always "kiss and make up" (:
SHANNY BABY YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING. never forget it!
bleugh
30th august 2010
fml. i'm such a whale. the slimming world plan is going ok but i've stepped on the scales for the first time in a few days and i'm 110lbs. i'm depressed.
fml. i'm such a whale. the slimming world plan is going ok but i've stepped on the scales for the first time in a few days and i'm 110lbs. i'm depressed.
hmmm..
29th august 2010
hmm, straight to the point >> today my mother sat me down and said she thought my food patterns had started to get out of hand again. she has made a food plan for a whole week that the whole family has to follow. i thought it was stupid but she said she was doing ti for slimming world or as she calls it "fat fighters" LOL :') she probably thinks i'm fat enough to need to lose weight. idk if i should do it, i mean i'll be having about 1000 so if i don't lose i should definitly maintain. ugh! it annoys me that i don't have control over what i eat. i think i'll try it for the week, i mean it's the least i can do tbh. but i refuse to eat breakfast, or puddings. she laughed when i said that, but agreed i didn't have to eat breakfast, i've never eaten breakfast anyway. she said i could have puddings and treats provided i don't eat over 15 syns. fuck syns or whatever they are. puddings = calories = junk food = not part of "plan". i'm stopping my plan anyway, i've only lost 2lbs which is not enough.
hmm, straight to the point >> today my mother sat me down and said she thought my food patterns had started to get out of hand again. she has made a food plan for a whole week that the whole family has to follow. i thought it was stupid but she said she was doing ti for slimming world or as she calls it "fat fighters" LOL :') she probably thinks i'm fat enough to need to lose weight. idk if i should do it, i mean i'll be having about 1000 so if i don't lose i should definitly maintain. ugh! it annoys me that i don't have control over what i eat. i think i'll try it for the week, i mean it's the least i can do tbh. but i refuse to eat breakfast, or puddings. she laughed when i said that, but agreed i didn't have to eat breakfast, i've never eaten breakfast anyway. she said i could have puddings and treats provided i don't eat over 15 syns. fuck syns or whatever they are. puddings = calories = junk food = not part of "plan". i'm stopping my plan anyway, i've only lost 2lbs which is not enough.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
FUCKING HELL THAT'S HANGING!
